Heaven came down
no, not heaven
I’m exaggerating
just the ceiling in my bathroom
just before
I went in
I could not fall asleep
that night
Kept my guard up
eyes open
Had it been a coincidence
a sign
a warning?
But apparently
good things come to those
who wait

*****

Only nostrils above water
no, don’t move
don’t make waves
convulsions, panic
take energy
make waves
you’ll go under
again
and there’s no time for that
breathe calmly
force your body to obey
because fear
is not your master
you are
conserve energy
and wait

*****

I searched my soul
then I searched my heart
but I didn’t find it
It felt like empty space
in my chest
felt like
nothing
How do I know now
how to love
when the photograph
is gone
and memory not to be trusted
Maybe love
passed me by many times
stepped on my toes, apologized
and I never knew